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Operation Overlord
Authored by: Anonymous on Wednesday, September 09 2009 @ 04:29 MDT
If you have gained 65 lbs "just like Mom" then maybe with any luck you will be "Just like Mom" and deliver exactly on your due date like she did.
Of course, you will have to remember to do the following things when you start having labor pains for real.
Listen to your husband reply to your information that "Hon, I think I'm going into labor" His reply being " Really!, well wake me up again when you are sure" Note to the Evil One, THIS IS NOT THE PROPER RESPONSE. Tried it and it didn't work.
Next, when you are about 12 to 15 minutes apart with the labor pains, get up, have a shower, put on your makeup, and oh yes, do your hair.... then leave for the hospital. Note to the Evil One - This is what you get for making the mistake of saying what is noted above.
Now after you get to the hospital and are all prepped, you find out just how many ways you can use your vast vocabulary of 4 letter words, most of them directed to your husband. Not to worry, it will be an amazing adventure for him because no matter how many snotty nasty things you have said to him before you got pregnant he will NEVER understand where on earth you got all the new expletives.
Note to the Evil One - When she yells at you to go get the G.. D.... Nurse, just do it. All that be calm honey, just breathe in slowly will get you nothing but an "IF YOU DON'T GET THE G.. D...... NURSE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE DELIVERING THIS BABY YOURSELF"
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Of course, you will have to remember to do the following things when you start having labor pains for real.
Listen to your husband reply to your information that "Hon, I think I'm going into labor" His reply being " Really!, well wake me up again when you are sure" Note to the Evil One, THIS IS NOT THE PROPER RESPONSE. Tried it and it didn't work.
Next, when you are about 12 to 15 minutes apart with the labor pains, get up, have a shower, put on your makeup, and oh yes, do your hair.... then leave for the hospital.
Note to the Evil One - This is what you get for making the mistake of saying what is noted above.
Now after you get to the hospital and are all prepped, you find out just how many ways you can use your vast vocabulary of 4 letter words, most of them directed to your husband. Not to worry, it will be an amazing adventure for him because no matter how many snotty nasty things you have said to him before you got pregnant he will NEVER understand where on earth you got all the new expletives.
Note to the Evil One - When she yells at you to go get the G.. D.... Nurse, just do it. All that be calm honey, just breathe in slowly will get you nothing but an "IF YOU DON'T GET THE G.. D...... NURSE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE DELIVERING THIS BABY YOURSELF"
Ah yes, fond memories.
Hang in there Kidling it's just the way it is...
Dadums