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  • Sunday, March 15 2015 @ 01:30 MDT
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Random Thoughts I'm not sure that I fully comprehend what has just happened to me or the seriousness of the situation. Not having ever been really sick, I'm just sort of playing it by ear. I will say that I have no intention of rushing my recovery. Too many times for minor conditions and illnesses, I've pushed too hard the second I felt better only to cause myself further injury or illness.

I thought that waking up from surgery was going to be like it is on TV. I mean, I guess intellectually I knew that that wasn't the case but I didn't realize that recovery had a whole procedure all its own. I thought that I'd be wheeled back to my room and gently wake up with Jason by my side.

Not so much. I woke up in the recovery theatre which is huge room full of other drowsy people who've just had surgery. There were two people by my side, I'm still not sure if they were doctors or nurses. One was male one was female. My first thought as I came to was “shit, I was sleeping so soundly, I don't wanna get up”. After that I was busy answering questions about my birthday, the day of the week and the like. There were cuffs on my calves that were applying pressure and I had to pee so bad I could taste it. “Can I go to the washroom?” I groggily asked. “We'll get a bedpan,” said the female perkily. Using this contraption required me to thrust my pelvis in the air and then try to urinate. Thankfully, whatever small amounts of modesty I may have had at one point were long gone with having given birth. I was not a natural with the bed pan. After some discussion and my insistence that I really did need to go and my brain wasn't confused, they used a catheter. I produced a full litre. I'm somewhat proud of that fact.

Every fibre in my being wanted to get up and walk. I was restless in the way I get at the dentists office, like if I sit still for one more second I'm going to explode. So I just kind of squirmed like a little kid. “Can we talk about this?” Said the male showing me the monitor with my sky high blood pressure. “You're not a little girl is all I'm saying, what do you figure you weight right now?” I knew exactly what I weighed as I'd been tracking my food and weight again in yet another attempt to knock at least some weight off. I then proceeded to tell him my life-long battle with weight and that I have been anywhere between 140 and 270 in my adult life and that if he thought I was unaware that I was heavier than I should be at the moment, he was sorely mistaken. I wondered if he was deliberately tweaking me to get a reaction and gauge my wellness. The conversation was quite lengthly but I don't fully remember all of it. Just that it was weird to be having such an in-depth talk with a perfect stranger.

Finally, I was allowed back to my room. The first thing I wanted to do was walk to the bathroom. They insisted that I use a walker. It was too short and in my not-quite-there state of mind I simply picked it up and toddled off to the can. There was an annoying chair over the toilet. I soon disposed of that too, I couldn't pee with my legs not touching the floor. Weirdly, all this was considered a good sign that I was in good shape after surgery. My heart rate was low so I had to be on oxygen. I was informed that I'd had a nosebleed during surgery. This became apparent when I blew my nose. It was no wonder I wasn't breathing well, I think my entire sinus cavity was filled with a blood clot.

The dressing on my back was surprisingly small. When I declared that “hey, that's not so bad.” One of my medical team pointed out that I had just had surgery right next to my spine and that while the surgery went well and I was expected to make a decent recovery, I still had a way to go. Once out of the hospital, I will continue to receive antibiotics on a daily basis. This will require a semi-permanent IV port in my arm. I'll also be going to physical therapy to relieve some of the stiffness in my back and help me to not develop long-term back problems. Like I said earlier, the seriousness of this is still difficult for me to totally comprehend because everything happened so fast.


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