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A Question of Numbers

  • Sunday, August 16 2009 @ 07:05 MDT
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Knocked Up Evil Scientist and I managed to avoid the “So, when are you guys going to tie the knot?” question because of our rather whirlwind courtship. In fact, we are well aware of the fact that some people assumed that it was a shot-gun wedding. This confused me, I naively believed that people didn't do such things anymore but apparently, I was wrong. In any case, I think the people who assumed the above were somewhat disappointed when no baby appeared in that first year of marriage.

That lead to years of “so, when are you guys going to have kids?” At first I just lied and said that I couldn't have children but then I realized that I was doing a huge disservice to the women who choose not to have children. I started to tell the truth by pointing out that we didn't want children. At the time, it was the truth. For the record, there was no so-called 'biological clock' for me just the realization that I might regret it if I didn't at least try. For Evil Scientist, it was more of a “whatever happens” strategy. Now, without Junior even being out yet, people are starting to bug us about our next child. Sigh, there probably isn't going to be a “next” one. When I used to tell people that I didn't want children, I often got told how selfish I was being. Again, this caused some confusion in my mind; how exactly was it selfish to not have a baby when I was neither financially or mentally prepared for such a responsibility? Apparently, having only one child is also selfish.

People say the most ludicrous things to only children. When I was a kid I used to get this one all the time, “aren't you lonely dear?” Um, no; it's hard to get lonely with a room full of toys and 7000 extra-curricular activities. I still don't share well and I still don't work and play nice with others. I like my privacy and I like my space. I've always found it terribly sad when children have to share a room. How awful to not have your own personal space. Both Evil Scientist and I were only children and, for the most part, I think that we were perfectly happy with that situation.

I'm not against having a big family but it's a question of numbers. Kids cost money and I've never understood people who fling their genetic material around without a second thought of how they're going to pay for such things. Believe me, if I was independently wealthy, I would love to have seven kids marching around in matching sailor suits but I would also want the mansion, the palatial grounds, the maid, the cook, the butler and the governess to go along with that. There's also certain physical considerations, I'm no expert but I'm thinking that there may have been a reason that the first Mrs. von Trapp was dead.

So for now, Junior is going to be an only child. Evil Scientist and I want to make sure that we can provide for our child right through his undergrad degree. We want to travel with him and give him every opportunity to excel at whatever career he chooses (please pick astronaut, please pick astronaut). As it stands now, even if one of us lost our job, we could still provide those things. It's more than that though. The two of us aren't exactly getting any younger and in order to have a second child, we'd need to have it within the next couple of years. I'm not sure that I'll be up for a toddler, a full-time job, my further grad studies, flight school and another pregnancy.

Oh, how I dare I still have a life and a child. This must be where the selfish bit comes in.

If you think that I'm selfish now, wait until the spring when Evil Scientist and I go lay on a beach for a week, (ES wants to leave junior with his grandparents, so he's WAY more selfish than me. I'm already picking out tiny, little board shorts).

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A Question of Numbers | 2 comments | Create New Account

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  • Hip Jersey
  • Authored by: Anonymous on Thursday, August 27 2009 @ 11:20 MDT
Trying to send you a message here but it doesnt work without knowing your real email address.

Saw you post on the Hip Leafs jersey...I have one signed my Gord Sinclair (and hopefully by the rest of the band at some point.

Interested?

dylan@mattinafamily.com

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