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Words from Abroad

  • Thursday, January 12 2006 @ 11:42 MST
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Chantelle\'s Ramblings Blighty Bird Strikes – I had my first bird strike the other day. The really alarming thing is that I wasn’t even in an airplane when it happened.

The pigeons here have got to be the *censored*iest little birds in the world. Did I say little? I had one land on a chair today (I couldn’t find a seat inside the Starbucks at Leicester Square today so I had to outside in the lovely drizzle) beside me and I thought the chair might tip over. At any rate, I was walking on Whitehall and one of these guys just swooped down and whapped me on the forehead with its wing. I can’t help but wonder if that’s some kind of omen…

Portobello Market – I’m staying in Notting Hill so of course I was obliged to attempt the famous market today. I lasted about ½ an hour. Seriously, I’m just not a market person. Particularly on a cold, wet day where everyone has umbrellas and I’m in danger of losing an eye.

I can see the merit in the market if you live here and have some big home decorating project on the go. I saw some great things but there’s no way I’m going to try and transport seven glass doorknobs back to Canada. The other stuff, well, I just don’t have the ability to push around people to get to look at everything. I get trapped in corners, too polite to force my way through the crowd.

I have a few problems like this in London. I think I’m doing well enough on my own to be mistaken for a student living abroad, but I doubt I’ll ever look like a real Londoner. I’ve developed a technique of jaywalking with crowds so that I know exactly when to cross without getting creamed by a bus but when I have to cross at a less busy place I still wait for the light.

I have the don’t-give-a-shit look on my face that warns off people trying to hand me stuff and I have the right amount of disdain to my look whenever anybody tries to convince me to go on a bus tour but I still apologize if I happen to bump into anybody. I have the tell tale white ear-buds that make sure that I’m in my own little world. I’ve noticed that people seems to accept this and are less likely to approach a person who is so obviously trying to shut the world out. I’ve also noticed that quite a few traffic cops are also listening to their I pods.

Where Have All the Doc Martens Gone – I trekked up to Covent Garden yesterday in search of a new pair of Docs and much to my dismay, the Doc store is now an Oakley store!!!

Just great. Because you know, I was just saying to myself that what I really need in London is some new ski equipment because Lord knows I don’t know where else I would use such stuff. I suppose there are places to ski in England but from what I’ve seen on the telly their “hills” are somewhat less spectacular than Mount Jockstrap in Saskatchewan. I suppose people can also catch a plane to the Alps but still, give me a break. Oh, and I’m not going to ask the man with sign who apparently has some special inside info of where the Doc Shop has moved to.

Mamma Mia – I went to this musical today and quite enjoyed it. What I did not enjoy is the woman sitting next to me singing through the whole production. It’s not a sing-along. Wait until the end, and then you can sing along but shut up during the rest. I mean for Christ sake I studied opera for two years but you don’t see me bursting into song during the Ride of the Valkeries. Of course, turning to that person and saying something along those lines would be intolerably rude.

What I did like was the row of 80-year-olds in front of me who knew all the words and got up and danced at the end during the actual sing-along portion. Go Granny Go!

And Finally – Okay, I know that I just said that I’m not a market person but the Borough Market is different and I’m quite pleased with myself that I was able to find it again. I nearly froze to death doing it but I was on a mission. Jen – the pies are still there but sadly, not the hot guys.

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